Thursday, July 19, 2007

Theme of the Evening: Vomit

I just spent three and a half hours feeling light-head and vomity at a business dinner with a dude from Ohio who wanted to enjoy the 87 degree evening heat on the patio of a Palm Beach restaurant ...

Guess who was vurping the whole time the sweat was trickling down her back, her pants were giving her ass a heat rash, her pits were drowning in their own juices?

Hey what a great idea! Let's do pan-fried mussels for appetizers! A bottle of tepid red Amoroso wine? Okay. Mmmm...steaming hot fish with wilted spinach and dried out carrots! Dessert? Why the fuck not?! Molten Chocolate Cake? Uh-huh. Oooh yes, let's have hot coffee with that! Could the waiter take any longer with the bill? I'm not sure.

It'll be a miracle if I'm not dead in the morning from fucking dehydration.

To top of my steaming pile of poo dinner, I had to come home to a vocally angry, starving cat who gobbled down her dinner so fast that it came up two minutes later at twice the speed. She was actually sitting on one of our 18" floor tiles and managed to lob her sick up and over to the middle of the next tile. I took a picture of the resulting pool. It was a lot of chum. Maybe I'll post it in the morning, but I may think better of it...I don't want to cause a Blueberry Eating Pie Contest Chain Reaction.


cK said...

Wow. That dinner seems to be a culinary Frankenstein Monster. A little bit of everything...perhaps under the principle of, "Well, it's all going to the same place anyway."

You could learn a bit about exit strategies from the cat.

Worker Mommy said...

Ooh, I think I just vurped a little reading your post.

You poor, dear!

Whiskeymarie said...

Hot food + hot patio =

"fish sweats"

Not to be confused with "meat sweats" (as discussed previously) or "cheese sweats".

Lollie said...

Yeah, I avoided the steak because I didn't want to get the meat sweats. Who knew the mahi mahi sweats were just as gross.

Sassmaster said...

It's like a horror movie in here! I like to refer to my bedroom as "The Puking Fields" periodically, when the cat yakking is at its minefield peak. Gross!

SuperBee said...

Summer... SUCKS!

So do people from Ohio who don't "get it..." that our summer is their winter, and we DON'T! WANT! TO! BE! OUTSIDE!

Lollie said...

superbee! You're back. Excellent.

Oh. I just went to your blog and you've been back for a umm, hi again - I'll be visiting often.