Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Blue Funk

I'm having a crap day. A client took to the road, my sweater is itchy and I have a new continent forming on my upper lip. Why I didn't pay attention to the budding coldsore on my face yesterday, I'll never know, but it's a little late for the pity-party now.


Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. But I doubt it. I'm pretty sure the new continent will be forming a government and inviting illegal immigrants in. Housing will be tight, the economy will crash and I will be left to pick up the pieces of my mouth.

Eww...I'm kind of grossing myself out right now. I'm going to stop.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Hey, Sujay's Gone...

So it really was the fastest trip ever. He was here, we laughed, we ate, we drank and then, poof...he disappeared. Nothing left of him but the faintest head outline on his pillow (covered cat hair now, of course).

Speaking of the cat. We are fast friends at the 'mo. Two days ago, she threw up in Ray's underwear. I (stupidly) asked if he wanted me to wash them or chuck them out...I got the Hairy Eyeball. Into the trash they went.

Then yesterday, the feline bulimic went to town again. Ray came into the bathroom and said, "Your cat has to go. She just threw up on my PlayStation."

I swear to you, it took everything I had not to smirk and say, "So, do you want me to wash it or just chuck it out?"

I didn't ask, because the timing was dangerous... also, I knew that after getting a completely different interpretation of the Hairy Eyeball, I'd have to get out the 409 anyway.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Yay! Sujay's Here

So we're going out to The Falcon House tonight and I am not, repeat NOT going to be the designated driver. I'm going to have my Tuna Poke with a Cosmo, my Steak Diane with a glass of Cab and my Chocolate Christopher with another. Meh. Take that boys...somebody better get me home.

I'm a lightweight I know.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Nice to Meat You

I'm so tired (drunk drowsy) I can't keep my eyes open, which makes blogging difficult since I can't touch type. Again, I have been enjoying the writing of others and again I have been neglecting my own. So I'm going to at least make an attempt.

Except there is nothing in my head.

I haven't the energy for thought or comedic effort. Ray is insisting on leaving the window open tonight. The temp has dropped and he wants to milk it. The extra blanket got pulled from the closet. Whatever Northern bitches, cold is cold when you are used to warm. The little dog across the pond is yapping and I want to march over there and remove his batteries. Get a real dog neighbour!

Made a wicked pork tenderloin for dinner (stuffed it with spreadable garlic and herb cheese and sprinkled it with sesame seeds). The prep of the meat nearly turned us off eating it though. It is a very phallic cut of meat...the cheese oozing out of it when it was done didn't help either. But GD was it delicious! Provenance cabernet is good friends, enjoy it with the other white meat. How many times have I said meat so far? Meat it out. Meat me in St. Louis. Track meat. Meat and greet.

I may have to go to bed. I have jumpy legs. All these years I thought this was something only my family endured and then two years ago I learn that it is an actual syndrome, RLS. Restless Leg Syndrome. What kind of gay name is that? It's like calling a fracture BWS - Broken Wrist Syndrome or a slipped disc ESCS - Extruded Spine Cushioning Syndrome.

That's it. I'm out. I'm done with this day. I'll meat you here later.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

There's No Place Like Home, There's No Place...

First off...*sigh*. It is so good to be home. I love my girl E, but traveling with her is like living in the Gong Show.

Orbitz called me the morning of the flight to tell me it was on time.
It was at 4 am - half an hour before my alarm went off (grr).
We were staying at the hotel where the Reagan assasination attempt went down - and I had a meeting in the Presidential Suite...kinda cool.
We arrived at the hotel and never saw the light of day or fresh air until 4 days later when we were loading the cab to go home.
Dehydration. I woke up every morning with a hangover - without the night of booze. Never have I had such incredibly chapped lips. Dry. Dry. Dry. Now they are healing and my mouth is like Susan Lucci's. You know the look...sort of orangy-pink lip liner drawn on the outside of my natural lip line.
Playing Mommy to Ryder while E worked the conference floor.
Playing Mommy to Ryder while E worked the conference floor.
Seeing cousin S. and her 15 week twin bump. Lovely to see her so happy and excited.
After dumping 4 checked bags, we hauled a diaper bag, two brief cases, a baby, two sombreros, two computers, 3 pairs of shoes (yes, they made the baby take off his shoes) a car seat and a stroller that no matter how many lessons I had and how many times I tried, I could not expand or collapse through airport security only to have E get "pulled over" for having a bottle of Perrier stuck deep down in her bag.
E losing her conference notebook in the bar? The bathroom? The cafe space? Chasing it down with a fussy baby, a fussy baby stroller, a rolling briefcase and a phone that kept cutting in and out.
Getting said notebook back from the Hotel Security Agent Service, although I had to track down E to get the guard to give it up, because I was not E and it had money in it.
Getting a call from the same guard 20 minutes later saying he had the notebook in his possession again because E had left it in a conference room, then having him come up to our room to drop it off with me because he "knew us now."
Had lunch with KvM. We had a reach-off for the cheque when we were done. I (reachingly) asked if I was going to have to fight him for it and he immediately said no and snatched his hand back.
Nearly dropping my nephew in the shower. Soaped-up babies are slippery man! Makes me think twice about the responsibility of having children. In fact, the whole four-days-with-baby has drastically changed my perspective. I was internally starting to get a little manic about the fertility time that I have left...now I'm not so sure there is a need to panic.
cK - this one is for you. We had to change rooms on the second day because I saw a mouse run from the foyer to the back of the TV cabinet. A mouse! In a Hilton. Paris, tell your Pops to get his shit in a pile. You're not the only family member going down the shitter.
We got to stay on the Executive floor wth free breakfast and a $50 food certificate.
The room was smaller, considerable smaller.
It had free wireless.
I never got to use it because I was so busy with the baby.

There's plenty more, but my guy and I are going out to Morton's for a great steak dinner in 5 minutes. Not once did I have a decent meal in D.C., so I'm getting one now dammit. And if I see a mouse there I am going to scream. Then someone is getting sued.

Monday, January 15, 2007

What ? Er... Colour

Tonight was my first watercolour class. I'm going to have difficulty with this, but it is going to be good for me dammit! I'm a control freak - there I said it. Control freak. Watercolour wanders, and it wanders mercilessly. How am I going to spend the next 5 Mondays "letting go?"

An aside: Is Warren Beatty starting to look like Bob Barker? From certain angles during his Golden Globes lifetime award acceptance speech, I say yes.

Another aside: WTF, Cameron Diaz? Where did you find the 1984 meringue prom dress? Did you go back in time with Reese Witherspoon to go ugly-dress closet raiding? Do you happen to pass Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sienna Miller when they were on their metallic-dress closet raid?

Last aside: I love you Ugly Betty. America Ferrera, you were the most beautiful one there.

The Falcon House

Anniversary dinner was terrific - good food, drink and plenty of family and friends...however. I was the designated driver for our car...how did that happen? I have to admit, I do have a wee bit of built up resentment for that one, but...whaddayagonnado?

Off to D.C. tomorrow - I have wicked timing...cramps are extraordinary this time round. Should be a smashing week of sore feet (concrete conference floors) and sore ovaries (see above). I think my duties are going to fall like this: babysitter/reporter/booth dweller/new site cheerleader. Hope I can keep my priorities in the right order.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Uh, Where Have I Been?

I've been so busy reading and commenting on other people's blogs that I have sorely neglected my own. I may have to do a bullet catch-up, because a lot has happened.

  • Okay, hello? New Years? Amazing! Everything I wanted it to be and more. Perfect travel, dress didn't get smushed because I got upgraded to 1st Class (I when I say me, I mean me, not me and Ray!). Normally I wouldn't have taken it, but the dress took priority and there was soooo much room in the 1st Class closet. Sorry Sweetheart. Relaxing day watching the Food Network, HGTV and then walking the Bayer Headquarters area in Tarrytown (freezing cold wind though, my mastoid is still pouting). Got ready, had a glass of bubbly, the car arrived on time, shot through to the city in record time, had the greatest evening at the Waterclub (seriously, everyone should do this once in their lifetime - great food, service and band, whoo-hoo!). Shot home at 1:30 am and slept like wee babes. We only had to get up in the middle of the night for some Advil and a shot of water. We all woke up fresh as daisies. There was a minor toast-burning-alarm-screeching, fire-engine-showing-up trauma around 11, but it was mostly funny. Back home, both upgraded to 1st Class this time. Lovely and perfect weekend.
  • Dad's cousin's daughter - not sure what that makes us - Allison came to stay for a night before she went off to Orlando to do a half marathon, followed by a full marathon the next day (don't get too excited, she and her friend said they were going to walk a lot of it and they were going to do it wearing Mickey Mouse ears). But still, a day and a half of marathoning...go Allison. Nice to meet you!
  • I captured some video of Kiefer picking the Baby Jesus up out of my creche that sits under our Christmas tree and swaying with it in his palms saying, "I'm rocking the Baby Jesus, Auntie Lollie." In more ways than one kid...you are precious.
  • The tree sadly came down last weekend, always a bit of a downer. The pretty smell, the lovely lights, the twinkle...all gone. All we were left with was a sticky sappy mess in the tree holder and a trail of needles and dripping water to the front door. (ps - the tree is still sitting out in the front of the house on the curb (after two garbage days) waiting to be picked up. Last year, it didn't disappear until the second week of Feb.
  • I missed Mario's birthday (that bastard still hasn't come to visit me). Happy Cinco de Mario sweetie! Miss you!
  • Mom had her spa party for the nurses at the clinic. It was great fun, we all had a very nice time. I think my resolution this year is to get more in touch with my chic side (chic as in female, not stylish - I've plenty of that...HA!). I'm going to start a Book Club for the Jupiter ladies. Any suggestions for an intro read? I know it will quickly degenerate into a boozy, no-kids, gossip night, but hey, that might be what I'm ultimately looking for in girl-time.
  • Ray and I were rudely woken at 3:30am to a chirping fire alarm...let me rephrase...I was rudely woken by the alarm chirping, Ray was rudely woken by me. He was a hero and fixed it after a half an hour of dicking around with another battery from the downstairs alarm (which then started to chirp), and the battery from the ceiling fan remote. The damn thing went off again after a few hours. Ray, being the hero one more time, got out of bed, licked the battery, stuck it back in, and hoped it would hold until 7, when I had to get up and pack. It started to chirp again as I was leaving the house this morning at 9. I walked out and left the hero to deal with it. Note to self...let me rephrase...Note to hero: buy a pant-load of nine volts for the next alarming episode.
  • So that was last night. Today, my tired ass drove Pops to the Mayo in Jacksonville. There was a strange moment there while I was driving past St. Augustine, where I had the sensation that the car was stationary and road was being dragged like a carpet behind the vehicle. I think I should have had a few more gulps of coffee before we left. The doc visit was a success - "You're better this time than you were last time," and the increased prescription was to walk for 10 minutes every day. I could have told him that in Ocean Ridge. And I wouldn't have charged his insurance! Off to get Liz and David from the airport so we can all have a big Prime Rib dinner, and then hit the sack in the hotel. I have the Full Caretaker bed. He gets the Queen Size with the special red outlets to plug in an oxygen tank. The day he needs an oxygen tank is the day he goes for his Special Cruise - you know...the one where he "accidentally" slips overboard.
Well, that's me so far in 2007. Two brushes with fire alarms...hmmm...this does not bode well for the things-come-in-threes-saying. We'll just have t go over to E's for Yorkshire Pudding. The oiled pans are always too hot in the oven; they always set the alarm off...yeah, that's what we'll do.