Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel, err, I Mean Projector

So after going to see The Hulk with My Guy last month, the baby and I realized about halfway through that we were both getting irritatto with the extreme Dolby sounds of screaming, grunting and things generally being punched really hard and crashing through windows, cars, walls, etc. It was just too much and the babens was most definitely becoming more and more distressed, twisting, startling and kicking my ribs, so much so that I almost left the theatre clutching my belly trying to dampen the noise.

We then decided that there would be no more in utero movies of the graphic novel nature.

Then Guillermo del Toros Hellboy II had the nerve to come out. *sigh*

Little known fact about me: I Love Hellboy. His "Aw, crap" cracks me up and his nonchalance about the demons from the underworld is refreshing. I also love Abe. I could go on and on, but really couldn't, in the near future anyway, because we had decided to fore go the flick in the theatre and wait for it to come out on DVD (just not the same experience as the Big Screen, but there you go...we're trying to be responsible almost parents). The Dark Night held the same sort of disappointment for us as well. Dammit.

But then...a Ray of Golden Light hit me square on the forehead while I was in kundalini prenatal yoga yesterday morning (I know, probably not the place to be thinking how we'd get around this Hellboy dilemma, I should have been visualizing a happy birth and healthy baby, blah blah blah, but there you have it, this is where my mind goes when meditating).


Drive-in + radio knobs = sound control! We checked out the times at our local and found both Hellboy and The Dark Night! Score!

With smiling faces, we packed a bag with Jones' Cream Soda - hello, the best sugar cane soda in the land, a bottle of water, and rushed out to get a sausage and mushroom pizza from Dean Anthony's. We made the movie in time to grab a bag of corn and some nachos with that unearthly yellow hot lava cheese product (divine) and settled into the reclined CR-V seats. It was magic. Just like being on a high school date - without the making out, we just ogled each other in love/movie bliss - why you ask? My belly is way to big for leaning over in the front seat to lock lips. Sorry, hubby, but that's just where we are right now.

It even thundered and lightninged outside, and at one point it started to pour down. We didn't care, we just flipped on the wipers and watched (SPOILER!) Abe nearly destroy the world for his love of Princess Nuala through the hypnotic swishing.

I think we're going to attempt The Dark Night tonight. Yes, two drive-in movies in a row may sound indulgent, and yes, I may get nauseous from all the buttered popcorn in my system, but I think all the parents out there know that we need to get this shit in while we can, n'est pas?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Oh - And Then There's This

No, it's not an illuuuuuusion...I have grown my own personal table.

Baby, Baby, Are You Okay?!

So we went to our infant CPR class last night. As soon as we stepped in the classroom, we were visually assaulted with 12 footie-pajama-ed baby dolls with, wait for it, PLASTIC BAGS OVER THEIR HEADS!

On second glance, I realized that they were mouth guards for the respiration part of the class, but, holy crap! I'm here to save the child, not let it frolic with a grocery bag.

Obviously it threw me for a loop.

For those of you who want to save 30 bucks and an hour and a half in a freezing cold hospital classroom, let me give you the lowdown.


1) Verify that the scene is safe (other than your child turning blue)

2) Tap the baby on the bottom of the foot (Baby, baby, are you okay?)

3) Check for breathing (no sweet smelling baby breath? Start to panic)

4) Open airway and shoot two quick breaths into baby covering both mouth and nose (check for chest rising. If chest explodes, cut back on the force of air expelled into baby)

5) Poke 30 sharp darts into baby's chest with straight stabby fingers (yes 30, and they must delve a third to halfway into baby chest cavity. Umm, ouch?)

6) Rinse and repeat 5 times while digging for cell phone (call 911)


1) Hold baby by the jaw and turn on stomach (baby will be stiff so hang on firmly)

2) Whack baby between the shoulder blades sharply 5 times (look for flying object)

3) Flip baby like a flapjack and commence with 5 sharp darts into baby's chest with straight stabby fingers (again, go in deep, but if you draw back with bloody finger tips, you've probably gone too far)

4) Rinse and repeat until the object comes out, or baby passes out (upon passing out, refer to CPR)

AND, that friends, is the infant CPR and choking class.


Friday, July 11, 2008

The First Boy I Ever Kissed

It was the first or second grade (I'm guessing), and I insisted that we do it in the closet of my bedroom. For some reason, that was very important to me. I'm not sure he cared, but I recently got in touch with him again and he said he remembered it as his first kiss as well. Was I glad to learn that he was not a Casanova at that age? Yes.

Anyway. He is apparently a brilliant writer now, who has been given one of, if not the, biggest advances for a first-time novelist. I think you all need to check out his book (available in early August - I just pre-ordered), and his very cool website , and his Facebook page if you are into that.

Yes, I am totally pimping out my first kiss. He deserves it. It was good. He made me blush...

Thursday, July 10, 2008

PWA - Also Known As The Pediatrics Wrestling Association

The two guys I've seen so far are going to have to duke it out in a to-the-death cage match. I can't decide between doctors...they're both so nice.

Advantage for Doc A: bigger practice, after hours care
Advantage for Doc B: closer intimate office, will come to hospital personally after babens is born

Which direction to go? And should I add another doc into the mix? She lives in my development...


Wednesday, July 09, 2008

How Did I Ever Have Time When I Was Working?!

I have been up by at least 6:30 (4:45 this morning) for the last three days and they have been FULL!


- a daily nap
- lots of stuffing of the face
- for real cooking
- daily trip to the gym
- looking out the window at the ducks
- making of muffins
- nesting
- nesting
- nesting
- thank you cards
- blogging (hi again everyone!)
- catching up on email
- doctor's appointments
- car seat safety appointments
- ducking out of our last Bradley class
- yoga class
- downloading every CD I own into my iTunes library
- birthday gift shopping and wrapping (big brother, you are going to LOVE US!)
- pediatrician shopping
- weekly visit to the midwife (all is well and moving along nicely)

I like this not working thing. Hopefully I can enjoy the next 28 days to the max. Because the rest of our lives are going to be A LOT of work.