Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Mixed Messages

Worker Mommy and WhiskeyMarie, my two favourite WMs both got separately tagged and in one form or another, consequently tagged me. I'm going to take their answers and give a version of my own in their themes.
1) Back when I was dancing for a living, I saw a program on PBS called form the Farm to the Table (or something along those lines). I was perfectly horrified to see how animals were being treated through the process of ending up in the grocery store so I immediately gave up meat and stayed that way for a year. Until I saw the doctor who was wondering why my recent knee surgery was taking so long to heal. He looked into my eyes and saw that my rims were almost perfectly white. "Anemia. Eat some meat young lady, or your career will suffer." 'Nuff said. Back to the meat...however, to this day I still refuse to eat veal and goose liver. This, BTW, was back 20 pounds ago when my boobies were much too small to have even an iota of movement, whether I was pogo sticking up the stairs or doing the regular style climbing. I still don't have much to hold, but there is a nice handful there during the Swollen Days - ladies, you know when I mean.

2) I love punctuation and made it a pre-requisite when I was selecting "suitors" from (where I met My Guy). He could spell, punctuate and convey a coherent thought, a skill that seemed to escape about 85% of the ManBoys out there. I love to type and punctuate to gay dance music which I listen to on the Internet during office hours (when I'm alone). There is truly nothing better than streaming gay dance music while you enter droll geosynthetic values into a database.

I was never voted Most Expressive/Creative in High School or any other place, however, in my estimation, I'm pretty creative. Other things that get me through my workday other than gay dance music (see above) are the times when I get to do really fun things with graphics or tinker on the Bridal site I manage. I like my job (mostly because it helps my parents - its their business - and I am helping the environment in a small way) but I love my job when I can create beautiful or interesting things. ps - I'd be outta there in a New York Minute if I won the lottery.

4) SmallTalkLollie and ChopTalkLollie both live in my head and I never know which one is going to emerge until I open my mouth. Yesterday at the Bris, CTL fell out. I was trying to talk to the hostess, my cousin's husband's Dad's girlfriend and it was just a pathetic display. I also had horrible diarrhea pains so no cogs, brain or digestive, inside my body were working properly. I would have been much better off holed up alone in the hotel room watching a talent-based reality show such as Top Chef, Project Runway or Top Design. I have zero shame about being addicted to these shows. I will even avoid very important phone calls to watch them uninterrupted.

5) I, too, have been on only one blind date in my life. It was with the butcher's son (Mom worked there briefly). Zero chemistry, at least on my part. He was all excited about taking me to Red Lobster in West Palm Beach. If he had proposed the Monster Truck Jam I think we could have saved everybody involved a little heartache as it would have come to a screeching halt right then. During dinner, we had nothing to talk about except Stephen King novels. The date ended badly with a lame walk on the tar covered beach and him trying to slip and arm around me on his crappy porch couch and kiss me while I was busy trying to remove the gunk from the bottom of my feet with a cotton ball full of baby oil. I ducked and ran and never returned (and also have never been back to a Red Lobster). Come to think of it, Mom stopped working there shortly thereafter, but I don't think it had anything to do with me...

6) As I as I am wont to do when I search for coffee in the am, I tried to smile at a few people here while I was walking down Robson Street in Van this morning...didn't turn out so well. Is it the city atmosphere? I don't know. People seemed a lot friendlier when I lived here in The Great White North where I often went cross country skiing and downhill skied once getting the most horrible reflective sunburn I've ever had in my life. It made my nose and neck peel very badly.

7) My favourite number is 13, we have it all over our lives in our clan. Lots of people have died, been born, been married, etc. on a 13. It is a magical number for me - I even won the one and only time I ever gambled in Vegas. I walked up to the roulette table, laid down a buck on thirteen and won a 35 to 1 bet. The dealer was astounded when I collected my $35 clams and walked away. Don't think I haven't kicked myself in the ass multiple times for not betting more. I am also convinced it will be a part of my future winning lottery ticket. And it is approximately the number of times I have done illicit drugs which were fun at the time (first try at the age of 28), but haven't touched for years (and probably won't again).

8) I seem to have lost number 8 but I will fish it out of my laptop tonight at home.


Worker Mommy said...

Aw, what a cool twist on the memes from WhiskeyMarie and I.

You're such a badass, Lollie.

Lollie said...

It snarls sometimes, my really does.

Whiskeymarie said...

You are a force to be reckoned with, my dear- and that's why I love you.

Oh, and my word verification has "hug" in it. I'm taking that as a sign.

Lollie said...

Hugs to you too WM, and your bangs are bitchin' aces. I'm going to your blog to tell you that again so all your peeps can hear it loud and clear.

H said...

In regards to #7, everyone talks about "Minnesota nice" and how friendy people are, but as someone who drives on their freeways and interacts with Minnesotans every day, I would like to say that for the most part it is bullshit. That's why I like to go my parents' house in rural Iowa every once in awhile -- everyone you meet on the road waves at you, whether you know them or not.