Monday, June 30, 2008

Fertile Myrtle the Turtle Got Over a Major Hurdle

It is my older brother’s 40th birthday in two weeks and he’s had such a crap year that we’ve decided to extend his festivities and make it a month long party of great weekends. Saturday night was the first in the long string of drunkenness to come...but, alas, not for me. *sigh*
So anyway, we (Joey, G, Sash, E, Me and Ray) piled into Joey and G's fabulous Mercedes SUV and sped off to The Food Shack. Uh, for those of you who will be in Florida at any time in the future, this is a must not miss. I've been hearing about this damn restaurant for years and finally managed to get there.
And. It. Was. So. Worth. It.
It's in Jupiter in a crappy little strip mall. Looks like nothing from the outside. The only marker is the crowd of people waiting to get into the joint.
ps - they only have a beer and wine license, yet nobody cares. It's all about the food.
We finally got our party of six seated, in the back, near the toilets, on a 4 top with chairs squeezed on the ends. Again, nobody cared. After looking at the handwritten menu for the day, passed to us by 7-year-old Jessica (it was her first night, Joey told her she was working like an old pro), Ray and I ordered a kebab of pan-fried scallops, cooked to caramelly perfection, atop a bed of greens and tropical fruit. Holy Crap! Then I had the coconut and ginger encrusted hogfish with some sort of crazy sauce drizzled over it, atop a salad of delicate micro greens. Holy Crap Crap! I was loving it. After Sash ate his meal, he draped himself across E and G and caught a quick catnap. Nobody in the restaurant cared. My kinda place!
The gang then decided that we should hit the liquor store next door and load up on beer, ice, gin and mixers and hit the beach like we were 17 again. Sounded like a plan to me, but I ducked into Publix to get my own personal stash. That's right. Cake and cookies. C'mon, meow!If I can't imbibe in the G and T, you better bloody let me have some sugar!
At the checkout, I witnessed two big boobed modelly types being chatted up by two older bull dykey types. Lots of flirting going on there. I casually looked up into the magazine rack and saw that someone had left a discarded toy called The Jumbo Fish Dive and Catch Game. Hmmm.
How appropriate.
I went back into the liquor store to see how things were coming along. Everyone had a drink in their hand! I guess the party goes wherever Joey goes, so paper cup beers and plastic cup wines were all over the place. Exclamations of "Ooooh, try this one!" and "I like this red better than the other two!" and "We should make our own beer, like this!" We left with three bags of booze and a cooler full of ice. Sandy paradise, here we come.
So, because all of them were already drunky, I got to drive the Mercedes! Beautiful car, but complicated. It was as if it was saying, and not so subtly "I am special, therefore my controls will be weird and in completely different places." Sniff. I kept trying to indicate my turns with the cruise control and I had to have the push button Park mode explained to me a couple of times. But fantastic car nonetheless. Flips a bitch like a dream. A the sound system was pumping out Motley Crue like nobody's business. Joey's on a Crue jag right now - he's dragging Sash to their concert tomorrow night. Thank god I have Prenatal Yoga as an excuse...
We unloaded the car at the quiet end of the beach just as the sunlight was disappearing. They set up the bar, I dove into the cake (a slice white on white for me, chocolate for the Birthday Boy, and sugar cookies for the rest of you bastards). We laughed and got even more drunky and peed in the bushes. Joey kept standing upwind of us and farting these devastatingly revolting beefs our way. It really was just like we were back in high school.
Then, the most amazing thing happened.
An enormous, and I mean gigantonormous, sea turtle hauled her ass out of the ocean, plowed her way up the beach, leaving an SUV-sized trail in the sand, and commenced digging a nest and laying her eggs for the next hour and a half. We stood there in awe just watching this pregnant monolith work her paddles like the devil, grunting out and covering about 100 leathery eggs. Then she turned around and lumbered, with frequent rests, back into the sea.

It was pretty magical. Joey got all weepy and said we'd just witnessed a miracle. I think he was pretty drunk, but it was sweet. I also felt a pretty cool oneness with the old girl. I'm just thankful that I don't have to squirt this kid out by myself, in the dark, with ten billion grains of sand crawling up my ass crack.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Alright...Here It Is

Seriously, I used to love these glasses. What in the world of Lisa Loeb was I thinking?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

If You Ever Want To Feel Like A Total Nerd...

Just put on an old pair of glasses that you found in your bedside drawer.

I had a picture of this to show y'all, but my camera just ran out of battery, so I can't wrestle it from my camera right now...but I will post it later. I know, I'm a tease.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

I Just Ate My Weight In Crab Legs

If this kid doesn't come out with claws and antennae, I'm going to be very surprised. The guests, Mom, Ray and I went to The Breakers in Palm Beach for brunch.

It was the only meal we had all day.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Come Out Come Out, Wherever You Are

Yeah, so. To add to the list of why I haven’t been blogging is that I have no Internet connection at home. So I wrote this in Word and if it is now visible to you, My Guy has fixed the wireless or given up his LAN connection for a hot minute. (At the time of publishing, My Guy handed the LAN over - he's such a peach.)

Where to start?! Okay – the obvious. Baby C is getting bigger and bigger and moving around like a jitterbug competitor. Nothing uncomfortable like getting kicked in the ribs, but a definite pattern of movement. Bicycle peddling on the right side of my belly at 5:45 am, hiccups for 10 minutes, nap while I eat breakfast, Rumble in the Jungle at work around 10:15 (seriously, my entire torso jiggles back and forth like Alien is trying to get out via my now non-existent belly button), hiccups at noon, knocking at the uterus door around 3:45, more hiccups before dinner and one last workout (with free weights, I think) before bed. And all of this is peppered with a punch or donkey kick here and there.

And I love it.

More baby related stuff and then I’ll quit on that. The Shower. What a lovely little party my girls threw for me. I was entirely gay and went out and bought a new dress for the daisy-themed occasion (see above). Gay, right? But I will admit…I do love the dress and will wear it again this weekend to go to “Brunch at The Breakers” with our weekend house guests. I might even try to have it altered so I can wear it when I’m sans bump so I won’t look like I’m drowning in fabric.

Anywho, I took off that morning and went to my first La Leche League meeting (breast feeding group for those of you not in the boob-know) and watched about 24 women alternately breast feed their babies/toddlers/children (yes, children, as in 4 going on 5) and listened to them talk about their problems and solutions regarding child rearing. It was an interesting group of ladies. Some were super granola, hairy legs and all, one was a cop, a few were typical Type A controllers who were wondering about how to cope with work and babies. I think I will like continuing with this wildly different group of chics who all have this common bond of a child. I was the only one who was pre-kid, and by the time the circle of introductions came around to me I had to excuse myself and take off to attend my shower. That garnered lots of oohs and ahhs and well wishes. I will more than likely see them all again before I drop this ball of baby, but you never know…

So onto the shower. The house was covered, literally, in white and yellow daisies.

It was so flippin’ cheery in there that I’ve decided to get flowers every week and spread the love in my house. There’s a wholesaler down the street, so filling up the joint with some cheap flowers on a Saturday won’t break the bank. Just don’t expect to come over and find roses. Daisies or, gulp, carnations may be more likely. There was a magnificent spread on Whole Foods prepared stuff on the dining room table and a fun-looking punch on the counter. The coop de gracie was a platter full of daisy cupcakes from Publix Greenwise. Holy crap these were good (this was my one request of my Mom and Sisters-in-Law – white cupcakes with white icing, one of my two sweet treats these days – the other is Ben and Jerry’s pistachio ice cream), and just beautiful to boot.

Sorry this is sideways - but you get the idea.

Presents and hugs abounded – thankfully, baby shower games did not. Nobody wrapped anybody in toilet paper, and we didn’t have to identify any melted chocolate bars in any “dirty” diapers. Thanks Ladies! A lovely time was had by all and now we’re up to our armpits in baby junk! Bring on the kid!

Me and my lovely family gals (Sister-in-Law Jen, Cousin Sarah, Twin One Nate, Twin Two Remy, Sister-in-Law Elizabeth, Mom, Me and Sister-in-Law, aka E's little sister,Tricia).

Kavaterin to my two sweetie...

...yet, potentialy hard drinkin' Godsons.

Work. Hmmm. Work is weird. I’m getting the distinct feeling that I don’t need to be there anymore. In fact, I’m kind of feeling positively useless, which, don’t get me wrong, is a good thing. David, my replacement, is awesome. A self-starter, and just brilliant on the computer. He even saw a problem with a form page that he’d created on Friday and then came in on his own on Saturday to fix it. So, really, I kind of go in, look at my/our email – he’ll be taking over my email account when I’m out for good on July 3rd, organize and direct it a bit, ask him what he’s up to and if he needs help – usually I get a Umm, nope, but thanks for asking” and then I kind of odd job it all day and leave early. We have an appointment today at 1:00 to see a mid-wife (more on that saga in another post) and I’m pretty much just thinking of not going in at all and just getting the house ready for P, B and C who are coming in from New York for a long weekend with us.

So friends, I have to shower (of the watery sort) and get ready for the day – so I’m signing off with a promise that I will not disappear for again for two and a half weeks. More soon on the whole mid-wife thing. It should be an interesting visit today…

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Showered in Love

Just a "placeholder" for a better bigger post. I apologize for living under this rock for the past two weeks. Not really sure where I have been other than buried in baby accoutrement, cleaning the house for upcoming guests, looking for a doula (and maybe even a mid-wife at this late date - 33 weeks today) and training my replacement at work. *guh* and being exhausted.

Quick pick of the event, but I promise, more to come tonight. I'm scheduling a date with myself to sink into the couch and bounce a happy baby laptop on my knee...