Friday, May 30, 2008

Overload and the City

Not that I'm not excited...and not that I'm not going to see this movie with a bunch of gals in two weeks...BUT, c'mon. Enough already.

I turned on the tube this morning and it was on Bravo from last night's late night viewing.

SJP's not so attractive hairdo was on The Actor's Studio, again. I flipped to The Early Show and there were three dolled up SATC fans taking a quiz for a bag full of shoes. Clicked off the tube and turned on the radio. My regular morning show was doing a hybrid of Sex and the City Price is Right High/Low game about top-shelf shoes and bags. I moved on to NPR thinking I'd get some relief and there I found an exposé of Carrie's narcissism.


And! And! It was the lead to the more important, and too short, story (at least I think anyway) about the death of a terrific talent who will sorely be missed. Mr. Harvey Korman had to follow the in depth examination of a shoe-obsessed, self-involved, TV character.

Just to name a few of my faves:
Prof von Klupp
Prof. Auguste Balls
Ed Higgins
Count de Monet
Monty Rushmore
Chef Gormaanda
Henry Snavely
Dr. Charles Montague
Hedley Lamarr
Baron Hinterstoisser
Col. Heindreich von Zeppel
Dr. Leinbach
and his myriad characters on The Carol Burnett Show.

What a talent.

Thank you Harvey. You laughed away my after school four o'clock hour in the 70s.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Love...Exciting and New

In love with my new car (I know you all know there will be no drinking and driving around here)

In love with my ever increasing bump (size: Large)

In love with my shiny new clean smelling house - especially the shower...who knew the floor was white? (Not really Claudia, but she kinda looks like Rachel Dratch...just replace the dress with some khakis and a t-shirt and plug in a Spanish accent - cute and adorable)

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I Gave In - Her Name Is Claudia

I have succumbed to the worst. My husband, mother and sister-in-law all think it's the greatest idea since sliced bread, but somehow it makes me feel chapped in all the wrong places.

I now have a housekeeper.

Claudia is going to come twice a week while I am pregnant and maybe once a week when I spit out the kid. I feel like I've really compromised my principles. Is that weird? I mean, I should really be able to take care of my own house. I know I can, but it is just such a huge effort hauling the vacuum cleaner up and down the stairs and I'm having trouble reaching the backs of counters with this belly. The shower hasn't been cleaned in weeks. Am I lazy? Am I indulgent (feels that way).

How can I learn to just sit back and enjoy a clean house for 75 bucks every two weeks?

Maybe I will change my mind when I see/smell my sparkly house tonight.

Friday, May 16, 2008

It's My First Time

We are going to pick up my BRAND NEW CAR! It's the first time I have purchased a car that doesn't need a sage burning session to rid the vehicle of other people's Carma. Very much so that I have little heartburn. Will post the Price is Right Showcase showoff pictures shortly.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Yeah. So I just experienced my first Insensitive Cow. In Publix. At the bakery. Let me start my rant by pointing out that she looked like she was fresh from the trailer, complete with bad hair under her hairnet under her bakery hat and summer teeth (some 'er here, some 'er there). And none too skinny herself there, sister.

Insensitive Cow: " Ohhhh, a baby! How many months are you?"
Me (smiling): "Just finished my 6th month."
I.C. (eyebrows raised to her very low hairline - or was it the hairnet?): "Is that all?!"
Me (giving her the hairy eyeball with no smile whatsoever): "Yes."

"Pregnant" pause...

I.C.: "Oh, well, I guess it's just a while since I've been was a while ago. I guess you just forget."
Me (hairy eyeball stare continues while imagining her as a fifteen-year-old slag pregnant by her second cousin).

More pregnant pausing...

I.C.: "Uhh, that guy will be right with you."

Her hasty exit.

Are people really that rude? Or are they just stupid? Or does crap just fall out of their mouth without thinking? Do they spend their lives living an uncomfortable existence, or do they get numb to their own atrociousness and just continue down their happy path spreading poo in their wake?

Or maybe I'm just being too sensitive?

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Mufflings, Mohonk and Meat on the Bones

Before we actually got to Mohonk, the 'Rents visited the apartment in Brooklyn. I nearly threw up from laughing so hard at my dad slowly sinking into the inflatable (or should I say deflatable) bed. It may have been better as an "on location" moment, but here is the sequence of events nonetheless.

This was the best weather we could have hoped for. Mohonk was delicious, in every sense of the word. The air, the views, the food...everything. A few highlights from one of our hikes.

Quick pic of the growing belly. Babens is really getting down at the disco about 9:15 every night. It's freakish and creepy to see my stomach moving independently of any conscious muscle movement. Kinda Sigourney Weaver Alienish. It may take a second to load, but for those of you (Kat) who want to see it grossly enlarged, you can click on the picture. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Droopy boobs, 70s paisley and all, I have to share...I LOVE this dress. I have one in blue too. It's from Tar-jhay.
It's official. I've gained 25 pounds. And I still have three months to go. I'm gonna be enormous! Whoo-ah!