Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Failure to Launch

Okay, so I got sucked into Anthony Bourdain's show last night (there were three in a row and I watched them all). This prevented me from getting my Lazy A off the couch and opening my laptop. Just lately, I've been feeling like I've been hit very hard with the tired stick...not sure what that is about. We're trying to Get In Shape starting this week. Smaller portions, no alcohol on the weekdays (ugh - but Friday night is considered the weekend!), and bubbly water instead of soda. We are also trying to work out every day. So, I shouldn't be tired, right? But I am.

I've decided to wait on the weekend roundup and dive right into the Things I've Never Seen Before List.

1) A refrigerator tied upright in the back of a dilapidated truck doing 85 on the freeway with the freezer door open and flapping/whacking in the wind. Needless to say, we changed lanes.

2) A 25-ish bleached blonde mother of four leaving a Miami hotel at 8 o'clock in the morning with her fabulous looking husband/boyfriend wearing, I shit you not, these shoes.

Management Post Script:
WM pointed out, rather hilariously, but completely understandably, that it sounded like the husband was wearing the shoes. Not so...but dammit, it would have been funnier that way.

3) An anhinga walking out like a high wire artist on a tree branch. (If you've never seen an anhinga before, they are fairly large - I don't think they belong in trees.) I thought it was a cat that was going to need rescue from the fire department, but then I watched it jump to the ground, flapping it's wings futilely, much like the freezer door on I-95.

4) This really belongs on a Things I Have Never Heard Before list, but Ray and I went out to the pool area of the crappy hotel in Miami and were assaulted by this absolutely filthy rap music. Now, Mama ain't no prude by any means, but I was totally offended that I was listening to Gonna f_ck tonight, yeah somebody gonna get f_cked tonight, all you Motherf_ckers get out tonight, cause playas gonna f_ck tonight.


When did this become acceptable out of the confines of your beat up Caddy or the privacy of your strip club?! That is a family pool area Marseilles Hotel! Turn that shit off!


Whiskeymarie said...

Mr Bourdain...sigh. Little crush there.

The shoes are awesomely awesome. I just don't know how I'd feel about my husband wearing them...

Lollie said...

LOL!! Hahahahah - oh my...yes, I can see how you'd think he had them on WM. Poorly written - it was she who was donning the glass slippers! Sorry.

H said...

I can't believe you're directing me to a website called "Leather Lollipop" but I will check out the photo when I get home.

I am also no prude and in fact enjoy my fair share of bad hip-hop and rap songs, but even I got a little bit disgusted when they remade that song "Sugar Sugar" by the Archies ("Sugar...aww honey honey...you are my candy girl") into "Nasty Girl."

My verification word is "toovbh." Too Vulgar Baby Honey?

Whiskeymarie said...

I like it better when HE had the "stripper in space" shoes on.
I'm just going to keep thinking about this MY way.
La la la...

H said...

I know -- I thought the husband was wearing those shoes. Not that your story isn't great, it would just be even greater if the guy had been wearing those shoes.

H said...

It has been three days. Where are you?

cK said...

I love this post...though it makes me worry for you.