Monday, August 20, 2007

DirectTV Highlights...make that LOWLIGHTS


- got an appointment for a dish to be installed
- "technician" arrives with flunky running two hours late
- "technician" is shown to roof where tenant (me) states implicitly that the dish but be on the right side of the roof (ours) and not the left side of the roof (the neighbours)
- "technician" nods and proceeds to the left side of the building
- tenant reiterates and says right, not left
- tenant ignored
- tenant meets neighbour who has come up to the roof to "water her plants" and overhears conversation about right side left side
- "technician" finally acknowledges tenant in the "must on be on this side of the building" plea
- "technician" points to placement of dish
- tenant says great
- tenant goes downstairs to makeshift office and proceeds to work for two hours while "technician" and flunky run up and down the stairs
- hours later, work is done, cokes are handed out, sweaty workers leave after getting a 20 buck tip


- phone call from husband: "Umm, why is the neighbour calling me saying the dish is on her side?"
- Me: "WHAT!?!?!?!"


- dish not only on neighbour's side, but (wait for it...) attached to the wrong building!
- call made, rant ensues, offer to fix with charge, 2nd rant ensues, gets a free of charge appointment for Monday
- tenant goes to neighbour with bottle of red wine peace/apology offering
- sweet, sweet neighbour says no problem, I heard you saying which side it needed to be on, not your fault...never mind the wine, not necessary, in fact you go and open it right now and drink
it - you look like you could use it

Today is Monday

- different "technician" shows up, no uniform, just a tool belt
- "technician" informs tenant that the paper says relocation - meaning box relocation, not dish relocation, "otherwise, Ma'am, you see, the paper would have said, dish relocation"
- has to return to office for dish relocation tools
- tenant tells "technician" that this has to be removed (pointing to dish apparatus) and moved (walks to her side of the roof) to here (pointing at location that is non-negotiable)
- "technician" disappears twice during the day (tenant checks the roof periodically, looks like work progressing at a snail's pace, but in the correct location)
- "technician" can't find black cable, has to return with it
- "technician" returns with black cable and flunky (also a different one)
- Flunky turns out to be expert, sets up TV and declares box to be defective when it shorts out every two minutes
- Flunky/Expert orders new box for tenant, tenant lucky to see box arrive via FedEx by Friday when she flies out

- phone call from husband: "How's it going? Are they done?"
- tenant tells husband about box problem
- husband asks if tenant checked the roof to make sure all is well


- retarded tenant let the guys go without checking the roof
- retarded tenant runs up the stairs with fear in heart
- retarded tenant looks around corner to see if dish in correct place, breathes sigh of relief when sees all is well
- until (wait for it...) she looks at old location and sees the 8 inch bolting apparatus still stuck to the neighbours building.


- call made, rant ensues, "specialist" ordered for tomorrow to remove bolt and caulk holes in building

I can't wait to see how smoothly this goes tomorrow...


Sassmaster said...

Dude! I feel for you. It sounds a little like my trip to doctor last week.

Whiskeymarie said...

Stuff like this makes me want to punch random people.
Instead, I just have a cocktail.

Lollie said...

That's exactly what I did - I went to the closest wine bar (found out it was rated #1 by Zagat in NYC!) and ate cheese and drank wine.

Worker Mommy said...

You should insist that they drug test their technicians and email you the results before they send anyone else out to your house