Saturday, September 29, 2007

No Bloody Way

Back in my dancing days, when I was a skinny stick, I thought I would be civic-minded and give blood. I entered the Bloodmobile in Oakland and offered up my veins. The nurse took one look at me and asked me how much I weighed. A hundred pounds I said. She looked at me with knitted brow, cocked her head to one side, and said, "I'm sorry sweetheart, you need all the blood you can get."

Rejected by the Bloodmobile.

Fast forward 10 years and 20 pounds...picture me staring down the Bloodbus in the WalMart parking lot at 10 am this morning.

Knowing that I'm now robust enough to donate I figure I would relive my civic-mindedness and offer up the veins once more. I trot confidently over to the bus before shopping, poke my head in and state proudly, "I'd like to donate please." All smiles, the nurses lead me to the back of the bus and I sit for the blood letting. After I say that this is my first time and I don't even know what type my blood is, Anya, the Russian nurse, says that she just needs to give me a quick physical. I tell Anya that I am coming down with a cold and ask, "Will affect the quality of the donation?"

I swear to god, she looks at me with knitted brow, cocks her head to one side, and says, "Oh, this will just make you sicker. I'm sorry sweetheart, you need all the blood you can get."

2 comments:

cK said...

Whoa. Maybe it's in their training manual? It's filed under RESPONSES FOR REJECTS.

I'd parlay this into an alpha persona excuse. Just steal steak off of Ray's plate. When he looks at you, say, "I need all the steak I can get." You can also use this excuse for watching Next Top Model, staying in New York, and Tulipan coffee.
-cK

Worker Mommy said...

Ha, that's what you get for trying to do a good deed.
I'm with CK though...use it. Definitely use it to your advantage.