Nepetalactone Haze

I just watched my cat get high. It was her first time, and I don't know who was more amused, me or her.

I tried catnip on my previous cat, but she was one of the many who are immune to its effects. Moon, however, is currently chillin' next to her Santa Frog who has a velcroed belly stuffed with a large catnip tea bag.

When I set it down next to her, she imediately tried to find the source of the dope. It was like she couldn't believe the frog was the yummy smelling object of desire. She smelled everywhere around it, even my hand for a second or two. Finally she settled on the fact that the frog was riding dirty and she was all over it. She nuzzled, marked, and rubbed it, buried her face in it, and even did the Flehman thing every once in a while (mouth slightly open, as if smelling with her taste buds). This took about twenty minutes, with me lying next to her, giggling the whole time, basically getting a contact high.

Then she mellowed out and has been half-sitting half-lying on the bed upstairs with what I think is a kitty smile. I'm pretty sure I have a new role in life from this day forward. I have become the Pablo Escobar of catnip.

Adapted from the movie Blow

George: "El padrino is Lollie. And for those of you living on the moon for the last twenty years, she is it, the boss of it all, El mahico."

Why?

Why is it that the afternoon I decide to rock out and listen to some seriously bass-y music with my windows rolled down (because it is a beautifully chilly day here in Florida) I have to be followed by a cop motioning to me in my rearview mirror to turn it down?

Dude just ruined my buzz. Meh.

How annoying is this flashing gif?

Had About Enough

Oy. What moron goes to the mall the day after the day after Christmas? Oh right...that would be me. After spending countless hours, meals and drinks with my family (who I love dearly) and battling the crowds in Nordies, Bloomies, Saks, and Costco (yes, I said Costco), I'm about ready for a whole lot of nothing tonight. All I want to do is not have a heavy meal, a drink of wine, or conversation while I am vegging out in front of the tube, indulging in the Top Chef marathon on Bravo tonight.

I am partied out and I need to rest before New Year's Eve rolls around...that eating, drinking and conversing schedule is going to be heavy.

Holiday Highlights

Ooooh, where to start? Maybe the best way to convey my holiday thus far would be in the ever-loved bullet form.

• Had a hangover Friday morning (2 glasses of wine..WTF?!) so I threw up, went in late and then left early to start the holiday drinking with Ray's work crowd at 3:30.
• Rum and coked at Prime 707, rum and coked at The Cottage, rum and coked at Suite 225. The first two were with the whole gang, the last with just Di and Steve before we went out to dinner at the new Italian place on Manalapan...where we polished off the Opus One they bought for us. I had a plate filled to the edges with steak, mushrooms and bleu cheese. I was overwhelmed and had to make myself stop lest I chuck for the second time that day. We laughed our asses off in a sea of grey (we saw the Early Bird crowd come and go and we basically closed the place. Maybe it was all the drunken f-bombs we were dropping...it was awesome. ps - I didn't have a hangover the next morning - go figure.
• Saturday morning was anomalous - Ray popped out of bed ready to tackle the day and I stayed tucked under the covers reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. He kept asking me why I wasn't up and doing shit at 6:45, like I usually (annoyingly) do on the weekend. I said, "'Cause I don't have shit to do...you do!" He was making lasagna for our dinner with Captain Ron and the 'Rents. Then it was,"Can you get up and help me? You have to cook the sausage, I always burn it." The sheer threat of having the house smell like smoke and burned meat for the dinner party kicked my ass out of bed. Sleep-in over.
• The dinner was really fun. Haven't seen Ron in a while and he looked great - had lost 30 pounds and was looking for 20 more. We laughed and drank a great wine, Silver Oak, that Ron had brought. He must've been psychic that day as it was the same wine we had bought to start the evening out. Ray's lasagna really is outstanding and we all had seconds of it , as well as Mom's Caesar Salad. Ron may need to tack on another 5 to the 20 he wants to lose - nobody left that room lighter than they came in!
• Sunday was a lazy morning, but we did get out of bed earlyish. We both needed to do some very last minute Christmas shopping. I thought I was going to have to break out my machete for the predicted mayhem at Best Buy, but it turned out to be fairly quiet and a pretty pleasant experience. Went home and wrapped gifts and got ready for Ballet Florida's Nutcracker. Kiefer's first time. Thought the experience could have gone one of two ways...either he loved it or hated it. Turns out there was a third way. After we had lunch at the fountains with E and Tricia, we headed off to the theatre. Kiefer proceeded to be fascinated by Act I. Between enjoying the music and straining to see every little thing happening on stage, he was asking questions like, "Who is she?" when Uncle Drosselmeyer appeared. "Why is he dancing like a girl?" when Fritz started out. He thought differently of the Tin Soldier and the Nutcracker Prince as he was battling the Mouse King. Then all love was lost in Act II. He was more interested in the gummy bears in his Mom's purse than he was in the "candies" that were dancing for him on stage. The phrase of the hour was, "No, Mom, I want to go home. Right. Now."
• Cassady was sick, and the family Christmas Eve Seafood Rip 'n Tear get-together was split into two factions so that Ryder wouldn't catch it. We did Lex and Jen's from 4 to 7 (great hollandaise Mom) and then went to Sash and E's from 7:30 to 10:00 (Ray's second pan of lasagna made an appearance there). Grandpa Santa made an appearance for Coleen, but he was too hot to do it again at Kiefer's - he didn't mind, his focus was on the presents. Orielle was the wine winner of the night. Good stuff, never had it before.
• Today is Monday - Merry Christmas! Ray and I have had a lovely morning (besides his back being out). I brought up a tray with our stockings, tea, cherries, clementines and cookies. Well, if you can't have cookies for breakfast on Christmas day, when can you? We opened our stocking stuffers and then ventured downstairs. We turned on the Christmas music channel and started the party. I gave Ray a boxing timer, a shirt and the Firefly series box set. He gave me every kind of Cosabella underwear known to god and man, a watercolour set and paper, brushes and a brush carrier. For both of us he bought another docking station (small and very portable) for my iPod. Now we can workout to music without having to boot up the computer.

Mom and Dad are coming over tonight for a fondue. Emmenthaler and Gruyere with French bread and Granny Smiths, vegetable broth for the filet, chicken and shrimp, finishing with semi-sweet chocolate and sherry and assorted fruit with poundcake. The wine? Girard, Provenance or Silver Oak...or all three. What?! It's a long meal!

The Best Night

We weren't going to go - but I'm so glad we did. Sash and E had their annual kid's gift exchange with the neighbours. We have no kids and we don't live in the neighbourhood, but we went over anyway. It turned out to be a terrific evening of food (we carved the roast beast), wine (Twomey is outstanding), and laughter (Gina's 40th next October was decided to be an 80s come as your favourite rock star).

We reminisced about our youth - how pathetic that we can even say that! Bad songs, bad hair, bad neon clothing...the 80s had it all. We can't wait for the party! Joe has even engaged an AC/DC cover band for those about to rock.

I need to figure out who I'm going to go as.

ck? Any suggestions?

Makes You Go Hmmm

Why do people sign off with a "~" before their name, as in:

...Blah, blah, blah.
~ Todd

Todd, are you not quite feeling like yourself? Are you approximately Todd today?

Found It!

So I was cleaning up under the stairs after we pulled it to pieces trying to locate all the Christmas ornaments. I happened upon 4 boxes of unused wedding crackers - like the kind you snap open at Christmas dinner - only they are silver, not red and green. One of the boxes was open and curiously, there was one missing...

Then later in the week (today) I was browsing around on the Internet in a moment of boredom. Guess what I found? My missing Christmas cracker!

The New Zoloft

Forget Lexapro and Cymbalta. Flush your Prozac, your St. John's Wort and your Rozerem down the can...I have the new anti-depressant.

Gingerbread cookies.

Yes, that's right. Gingerbread cookies. I mixed me some dough last night, waited in anticipation as it chilled for an hour in the fridge, rolled it out with an old-fashioned wooden rolling pin (none of this space age neon coloured plastic for me - screw you Bed, Bath and Beyond), and used 4 of my 32 brand new "occasion" cookie cutters (thanks Bed, Bath and Beyond)!

They cooled, I racked 'em, shifted them to the living room in front of the TV set, and decorated to my hearts desire. Even though it made my hand really sore to continually squeeze that tube of icing, I custom did every one of them - I even have a Groucho Marx Gingerbread man.

Result? I am happy today. Even the fact that my new Greencard arrived yesterday morning with my old unmarried name on it doesn't irk me so much. Oh well, it'll be another year before all that gets settled, but at least I have my cookies.

Note to Self: Make This Again!

Pizza Crust:
1 package yeast dissolved in 1/4 cup warm water and 1/4 tsp sugar (set aside)
Mix:
2 cups white flour
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup oil
1/2 tsp salt
Add yeast mixture, knead and spread in a frying pan.
Bake for ten in a 400 degree oven.

Microwave:
1 ear of corn, cut off niblets (set aside)

Stirfry:
eggplant tapanade
onions
garlic
Add:
red pepper
corn

Spread:
2 Tablespoons eggplant tapanade on pizza dough
Stirfry mix

Sprinkle:
Meunster
Havarti
Pecorino Romano

Top with:
halved cherry tomatoes

Bake:
20 minutes at 350 degrees

Holy Crap good!

Little Angels

So I just heard the best story about my adorable nephew #1. Kiefer and his playmate Sydney (both 3) were doing arts and crafts in S and E's very secular home. They were making an enormous mess - glitter was everywhere and they were covered in paint. E turns the corner and looks at the two of them with her hands on her hips, "Oh my goodness - look at the two of you! What a mess!

"Kiefer looks up at his Mom and says, "Praise the Lord, Mom! We're washable!"

Aside:
In looking for an angel picture to go with this blog, I Googled "halo" and a whole page of this came up:


So then I thought smartly, I'll just Google "angelic"... here's what I got:



I'm conflicted to report that religion is officially dead, and violent video games and Victoria's Secret have taken over the world.

Bigfoot Lives

At some time during the day, he crept into the ladies in our building and laid some Bigfoot pipe in the third stall. I expect the remains of the day to be documented in a future publication of The Guinness Book of World Records.

Wow.

Just. Wow.