Friday, October 05, 2007

If I Had Balls...

I was walking down the street the other day, wearing my new high steppers, carefully picking through the broken shale sidewalks, when a be-dreaded young gentleman sitting on a stoop said to me, "Excuse me! 'Scuse me...how can I learn to walk like that? No, I'm serious, how can I learn to walk like that?"

...myriad shots ran through my head...

"Nuke your nards"
"Worship the tranny"
"Get in these heels"
"Buy a vagina"

...but I chickened out, chuckled, and just said...

"Ballet lessons"

Lame, I know. If I was a ballsy chick, much like I imagine Whiskeymarie to be, I'd have gone all out, but I didn't.

3 comments:

cK said...

I vote for "Buy a vagina." Then again, he may have subsequently asked a price, and then you'd be in the same offense vs. come-back dilemma.

I like "Ballet lessons" quite a bit, though.
-cK

Whiskeymarie said...

I also like the "buy a vagina" retort.
You'd be surprised- 50% of the time I think of something brilliantly witty and scathing to reply to comments like this with. The other 50% of the time I just stand there with my mouth hanging open, trying to register what they just said.
I'm cool like that...

Worker Mommy said...

Buy a vagina...yeah I'm diggin that response too.

Of course unless he asked you "Uh and where do you suggest I get one from "