I was walking down the street the other day, wearing my new high steppers, carefully picking through the broken shale sidewalks, when a be-dreaded young gentleman sitting on a stoop said to me, "Excuse me! 'Scuse me...how can I learn to walk like that? No, I'm serious, how can I learn to walk like that?"
...myriad shots ran through my head...
"Nuke your nards"
"Worship the tranny"
"Get in these heels"
"Buy a vagina"
...but I chickened out, chuckled, and just said...
"Ballet lessons"
Lame, I know. If I was a ballsy chick, much like I imagine Whiskeymarie to be, I'd have gone all out, but I didn't.
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3 comments:
I vote for "Buy a vagina." Then again, he may have subsequently asked a price, and then you'd be in the same offense vs. come-back dilemma.
I like "Ballet lessons" quite a bit, though.
-cK
I also like the "buy a vagina" retort.
You'd be surprised- 50% of the time I think of something brilliantly witty and scathing to reply to comments like this with. The other 50% of the time I just stand there with my mouth hanging open, trying to register what they just said.
I'm cool like that...
Buy a vagina...yeah I'm diggin that response too.
Of course unless he asked you "Uh and where do you suggest I get one from "
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