Saturday, August 16, 2008

Storm Watch

The only other thing to report was yesterday's blowout. Keegan started choking on the changing table when I was doing his diaper, so in a panic, after a whole load of milk came out of his nose and mouth, I picked him up...without a diaper on. He then proceeded to pee all down the front of freshly showered me. In the sleep deprived fog, I think I thought that I could catch the flow between my knees. Not so much. So he kept freaking out so I could only comfort him by nursing him. I decided to throw him over my shoulder and get set up when he barfed cheese on my shoulder. He was also wearing a good deal of it. Let me sum up the scene for you.

  • Cheesy barf on his face, clothes and my shoulder.
  • Pee down the front of his onesie, my bra, naked tummy, underwear, freshly shaved and lotioned legs and the carpet below.
  • Milk dripping out of my boobs onto his face, shoulder, onesie and my tummy.
  • Then he pooped ferociously. (Luckily I had the presence of mind to whip on a poorly placed diaper before we got to the nursing chair. It held.)

There we were, sitting in squalour, me wondering what the hell just happened. I went from this

to this

in a matter of seconds.


MichaƩle said...

Oh hon you poor thing!!! One of my favorite leather jackets has this horrible stained spot on the left shoulder where Baby #1 once spit up and while I don't wear the coat anymore, I still have it to remind me how nice life is without my children's bodily functions covering me on a daily basis.

It gets easier....Promise!

SuperBee said...

LOLZ. Not at you. Just the image you painted. Pobrecita.

Ann(ie) said...

oh yeah. Been there. And I'm usually handling it very maturely saying TO THE BABY bring it. What else you got, kid???? hehe. Hang in there girly. Can mama partake in any kind of boozy booze while breastfeeding????

MadWoman said...

Ahhh, I just had a terribly nostalgic moment with some some deluded thinking along the lines of "those were the days". Then I came to my senses and realised I was glad it wasn't me.

Isn't it the WORST when you're sleep deprived? Which is pretty much always in those early weeks. You will slowly begin to realise that your day is not complete until you've been puked, peed or pooped on.

WM said...

Aah, way to christen mommy, Keegan ;)

Lord that boy is baby model cute!

And yeah his diapers are still sitting in my living room and maybe I should just face facts that I'm incredibly lazy and will send it when he has his own kids.