I have to fast to go to the GP tomorrow morning for my first physical in, oh I don't know, five years? Let me guess: You are anemic and have great blood pressure. Your cholesterol is fine but let's keep an eye on it because of your family history. That problem in your knee is swelling - I'd recommend an MRI - how do you feel about having a third scope on that? Pardon? Oh, uh-huh, that hair loss is because you just had a child. Don't worry it should grow back. And finally, we have no idea why you have had seven optical migraines in January. Could be a brain tumor. Have a nice day!
Then we have the dentist and there had better be good news with all this damn flossing I'm doing. I will lose all faith in dentistry if my receding gums haven't improved.
Do you think I'll stop falling apart if I invest in a juicer, 'cause I'm willing to give up solids if it will work. What is Jack Lalanes secret? Wait...is he still alive?
3 comments:
Oh, he's still alive! I spent a recent Saturday watching some infomercial channel where his juicer ad ran about five times before I ever mustered up the energy to pick up the remote next to me and change the channel! Perhaps I need one of those kale, beet, cabbage, apple, and goodness knows what else energy drinks he was mixing up!
I've been flossing...as a result, I discovered I have a cavity. Awesome.
I suck bad at flossing. You are granted the letter r. :)
Excuse me for being blunt but having a baby will fuck up your body. Or er the hormones anyway.
I never had migraines before twins. Now I do. I never had pain with ovulation. Now I do.
If that juicer works lemme know cuz I'm making a beeline for the nearest 24 hr juicer store.
Wishing you good health,
Mwah,
WM
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